Finding a great nanny for the twins was one of the most stressful experiences when they were newborns and toddlers. We would know…we have had FIVE different nannies for a variety of reasons and we have learned a LOT in the process.
If you just had a baby and going back to work soon, finding the right nanny for your newborn can often be an overwhelming task. Finding a great nanny that you trust, however, can be a huge sigh of relief for you as you go back to work. You may be VERY lucky and find the perfect nanny at the right time you need her and who stays with your family long term, but it’s not always that easy. This is one part of parenting that you shouldn’t become lackadaisical about because the person who is entrusted with the wellbeing of your child should not only be responsible but also have a great work ethic, experience, and flexibility. You have to go through a wide variety of nanny candidates with characteristics that vary dramatically and it may be very difficult finding the one that fits your personality and specific needs.
So, what should you be looking for when you think of hiring the perfect nanny?
Continue to read below for some tips we learned!
Can You Trust the Nanny with your Child?
Entrusting the wellbeing of your child to a complete stranger is one of the most worrying experiences a parent can go through. To make things worse, there are probably several stories circulating among your friends and colleagues who have had negative nanny experiences.
Although there isn’t any defined mechanism through which you can sift the good ones from the bad nanny applicants, there are certain red flags that you should look for when you do your initial search:
- An experienced and skilled nanny would not have many gaps in her employment history. Periods of unemployment (if any) should be backed up with a good reason.
- Watch out for the frequency of relocation for the nanny. If she has changed her city or state in quick spurts, it could be a sign that she will not be with you for long term.
- If she speaks negatively about her former employers but is unable to back it up with justifiable reasons, it could be a possible red flag. There is a fine line between criticism and bad mouthing. Learn to differentiate between the two. A nanny who is guilty of the latter is likely not going to be a good fit for the job.
- Upon making a request, the nanny applicant should provide you with her social security card, driver’s license, and similar documents and references for proper identification. You may also opt to run a background check if desired.
- Make sure the nanny is infant, toddler, and/or child CPR-certified and has recent vaccines (or willing to get standard vaccines).
Don’t just settle for the resume. Ask for several personal references and make an effort to call as many as you can. The feedback and suggestions provided by former employers should help you to evaluate whether the nanny applicant has the following valuable traits:
- Punctuality and flexibility – this is a must for working moms!
- Likelihood of being rehired by the same employer
- Ability of the children and parents to relate with the nanny and give first-hand experiences
- Ability of the nanny to act appropriately in emergency situations
- Conditions in which the nanny left her former job and did she give appropriate notice
- Any specific concerns of the nanny that the former employer would be willing to share
To ease the pain of this search a bit, we have compiled a list of characteristics that should help you screen candidates when it comes to hiring a nanny.
Reliability
The first thing on your list of requirements should be a nanny that is reliable and can be trusted. Now, gauging someone’s reliability through a single interview is nearly impossible, which is why we have some cues that could help. These factors can help you gather information regarding their reliability.
- Is the nanny on time for the initial interview?
- Do they return your messages and phone calls in an appropriate time frame?
- Do they have a good track record with the previous clients or agencies they have worked?
The job of a nanny is unique as they are hard to replace on short notice. It is perfectly understandable that personal emergencies creep up every now and again, especially if they have families of their own or have an unexpected personal illness. A reliable nanny always gives plenty of notices ahead of the time (if possible) so you can prepare when she is unavailable to work. Those who go the extra mile might even offer you a suitably experienced substitute nanny in her place if possible.
It is also important to ask how long they intend to be a nanny or if they have future endeavors they want to pursue in the near future. This will help gauge how long they intend to be a nanny, especially if you will need her for many years. You must also emphasize how much notice you will need if she unexpectedly decides to leave. I would say that at least a month notice would be adequate, as you have to start the search all over again and can take some time to find another suitable nanny.
Loves Children
This attribute may seem obvious, but that is not always the case. The best way to gauge this characteristic is to see how they interact and communicate with your child. The way they communicate with children, especially yours, is a giveaway to the general feeling they have towards them.
The nanny has been given the opportunity to play a significant role in your child’s life. It is not easy to love someone else’s child like your own. Handling children on a daily basis can often become monotonous and challenging, which is why you need people that are upbeat, positive, and motivated around them. A caring, patient, and passionate nanny should have the ability to not only empathize with your children but also nurture and shower them with love.
An important part of loving children involves discipline. It is likely during some weeks that your nanny might spend more time with your kids then you do. Making sure that your children get consistent messages about acceptable behavior and that consequences are also consistent is essential. Talking about discipline styles and what should be done in different cases will make sure your children aren’t confused or attempt to get away with bad behavior. Asking them what they prefer will give you a sense of what they are most comfortable with and, therefore, the likely first step.
Possesses Good Habits
The person responsible for the safety and wellbeing of your child on a daily basis should be someone you TRUST and have a combination of experience, great work ethic, positive attitude, and willing to accept feedback and make changes if needed. Sounds like a dream come true, right? You have to remember that your nanny may never be completely “perfect “ (we are not perfect parents, either), but you will have to make the best choice for you and your family.
The following are some of the traits of a good nanny:
- Having a good understanding and past experience with caring for children
- Being aware of safety issues around the house and taking care of all health hazards around the house. Safety should be the number one priority for the nanny.
- Being able to appropriately communicate and interact with children and be attentive to their needs
- Being trustworthy and always honest with both the parents and other caregivers
- Having enough energy to properly engage with your child/children
Attention to Detail
Perhaps the most important quality to look for in a nanny should be attention to detail. Taking care of children, especially multiple children at once, is not an easy task, even for the most experienced of babysitters and nannies. There is a lot of attention that goes into making sure that the care being provided to the child is just right and conducive to the way you like things to be done as well. The milk has to be the perfect temperature, the bathwater has to be just right, the temperature of the room not be too high or low, and the timing and amount of feedings and diaper changes may need to be recorded. All of these details are something the nanny has to take into consideration, and for this, they need impeccable attention to detail.
One tip is having your hired nanny start a couple of weeks before you officially go back to work. She then can learn your personal preferences on the job, and you can show her the way you like to do things. You can also make sure that this nanny’s style fits in your family. Remember, if it is a very experienced nanny, they will likely show you some tricks and make suggestions as well, especially if you are a new mom.
Another tip that was VERY useful for our family was writing out an informal nanny contract that she has to read and sign. Writing out your expectations for the nanny is a great way to iron out the anticipated duties and preferences as much as you can so that all are in agreement ahead of time.
Some of the items we listed in our nanny contract were the following (we have a sample nanny contracts if you want to see!):
- Daily hours expected and if flexible hours/weekends are needed
- Salary and benefits – how much per hour or week before or after taxes
- Paid vacation and holidays – how much vacations/holidays are included and paid
- Job responsibility – needs to be VERY detailed and added as needed. Include all duties you expect (feeding/meals, napping, bath time, laundry, cleaning, play time, outdoor activities, educational activities, etc.)
- Safety – CPR certification, emergency numbers, allergies, water safety rules, car seat safety
- Meals/bottles – when, how much, and responsibility to cook or prepare food
- Discipline – consistent disciplinary action for children (i.e. time out)
- Household rules – no smoking, no guests allowed, no unplanned trips, open communication etc.
How to Start your Search for a Nanny:
There are several resources to start your search for a nanny including the following:
- Word of mouth – ask friends, family, colleagues, and neighbors if they know of any great nannies looking for a position or had any experience with a particular nanny or agency
- Care.com or Sittercity.com websites – post a job application and/or search through nanny applicants that have posted that they are available in the time needed. This definitely takes a lot of time but there are great nanny applicants on these sites. You can also easily do a background check on anyone you decide to interview.
- Nanny agencies – these nanny applicants are often experienced and have had a background checks. They often will assign you a nanny and will be able to replace with another potential nanny if they do not work out. They will likely have a “finder’s” fee and may take a percentage of their salary initially.
- Neighborhood blogs or Facebook/Nextdoor groups– post something on your neighborhood group that you are searching for a nanny. This is often ideal if your nanny lives in the same area that you live as well.
- Au Pair agencies – Au Pairs are usually young, foreign applicants hired through agencies who desire a nanny job opportunity in the United States. Their age and experiences vary widely but it’s important to remember that are restricted on work hours per week (usually not more than 40 hrs/week), and you will have to provide room, board, and transportation.
I would start with a phone/video conferencing interview and if they sound like a potential candidate, invite them for an in-person interview. Remember to have your list of questions ready and ask for references! You may consider having them meet your child/children to see how she interacts with them as well.
The Bottom Line
The key to selecting the right person as your nanny involves exercising personal judgment and a little luck. The questions during the interview should be such that they should allow you to gain valuable insights into the thought processes of the nanny.
We truly hope that everything falls to plan and you are able to select and hire a great nanny for your child by following the some of the suggestions we have outlined above. Again, this process is probably one of the most stressful and time-consuming, but hope this blog helped answer some of the questions you had before hiring a nanny. A great and reliable nanny would make it easy for you to juggle both your personal and professional life with finesse and content in the knowledge that your child is properly being looked after and is getting the best of both worlds – love from the parents AND affectionate and personalized care from a professional, skillful nanny.
Disclaimer: The views and comments expressed are my own personal views and experiences, and do not represent any affiliated organization or entity. Any narrative accounts are compositions of my own personal experiences. My goal is to provide education, inspiration, and empowerment to other moms and physicians.
